Hi everybody. Thanks for coming back to read these Blogs. Today I have some thoughts on my mind that I have been ruminating over for a while. This morning I was thinking about how bogged-down I feel when I let thoughts of my worries or other people's poor behavior toward me, get me down. I bet everyone reading this has had this experience before. Some of you go through it on a daily basis, riding the waves of the next emotional cue from a friend, lover or co-worker. You wonder how your day will go and what you will accomplish based on a set of variables over which you seem to have no control! If you cannot restrict the negative experience from happening you feel you are going to be victimized by it. This is a side-effect of our Third Dimensional Consciousness. What this means is that in our Flesh and Bones body and experiences, we believe the outside situations are in control. But the ACTUAL truth is that what we THINK about is in control. Our THOUGHTS are in control. Our thoughts can get out of control, but this we have the ability to manage and alter. What we lack is the conviction to use this ability consistently and effectively.
I have not met many people in my lifetime who are MORE emotional than me! I am the most irrational, emotional, anxiety-ridden, easily-offended person I know! This is a pretty tough list I just made. I become agitated, annoyed, depressed, confused, upset and indecisive repeatedly throughout my day, everyday. This way of living is very UN-spiritual. I do make the effort to meditate regularly, read literature about these topics and use techniques to head-off some of these "mental attacks", but I truly am not succeeding. If I were succeeding, so many parts of my life right now would reflect it and I could see all of my wonderful success and I would be living my life in the LIGHT and with Blessings that were visible. But what I see in my life is that there is some Love. There is some sharing. There is some hope and some faith. But there is also conflict. There is depression and sadness. There is confusion and there are dreams that are unfulfilled. This is not the plan of the creator but the aftermath of the destruction of the ego. In specific...my ego.
Let's talk about the idea of Mental Attacks. When I say this, I am referring to that voice in our thoughts that tells us things that are unhealthy for a Spiritual mind. The voice says we are not good enough. It says that HE thinks I am not good enough. It tells me that HE (or she) doesn't want me because I am not good enough and for some reason, not being wanted becomes the ultimate suffering. From there we start the downhill slide. So let's correct this thought together. How we correct this thought...the technique we will use...will be the tool for fixing other similar thoughts. So the person we love has let us down because they are not demonstrating the amount of attention towards us we wanted. Perhaps it is that we do not get the quantity of attention we hoped for, or attention in the right venues or situations. Perhaps they just don't use the words we want to hear or don't make us feel what we want them to make us feel. When I word it this way, does it make it easier for you to identify the problem? In these conditions, WE (the receiver) are perceiving that we lack something because it was not given to us. Also, WE (the receiver) are playing the part of a victim because we had an expectation but we were let down or rejected, hence victimized. In this scenario, WE (the receiver) are selfish and we want someone or something to give us the feeling of being fulfilled. Expecting other people to give us fulfillment is a trap that will leave us sad and empty.
There is another person on the other end of this scenario. If WE are the Receiver then that automatically makes THEM the Giver. They (the Giver) don't know that we are waiting for them to do or say something so that WE(the receiver) can perceive that WE are happy or fulfilled. Our Creator, The Light...is a Giver and we are all little vessels that receive some of the Light from the Giver of Light. But we were created to BE like the Creator and so that means that we receive Light but also we GIVE or SHARE it too. The Light does not give any less or more to any one vessel. There is abundance of it for all. But our vessel has to be the right SHAPE to receive, hold, and then share it. When our friends, lovers and co-workers or family members share light with us, it is the same thing. We must receive it but also share it. So as you can see from our previous exercise about the emotional, third dimensional person...such a person has decided that they are one or the other but not both. They BELIEVE 9wrongly) that they can only be a Giver or a Receiver and they choose one side. They then do not feel fulfilled because they were never supposed to be on just one side but they were supposed to be BOTH!
Anyone who is in a romantic relationship knows that if only one partner gives while the other receives all the time, then this coupleship will not last. Even the most giving person will grow weary and fed-up at never receiving what they always give out. Both partners must SHARE the LIGHT they receive from their Inner Purpose when they connect with their Creator. THAT Light should exist for the both of them to use together, and not for one side to use while the other gets nothing. A lot of people do not see this and they do not see the role in their own relationships correctly. There is a lot of disbalance when one person in a coupleship has emotional imbalances such as depression or anxiety. These types of conditions need treatment, focus and correction if the people affected by them are going to have any chance at being healthy and fulfilled.
I hope what I have shared helps others to understand this difficult condition that exists when we LIVE our lives EMOTIONALLY rather than in a Consciously-Driven way. We CAN control those emotions. We CAN adjust our thoughts. We CAN heal past hurts, no matter how bad they were. One of the key ways to do that is to simply let go of the past. When you let it go and do not give it any more energy of thought, it can be released from your consciousness. But when you do this, do not leave any sick limb hanging around because it will come right back into your life. Whatever the issue that is holding you back, you must be brave and heal the wound. You can do it. I know you can. Pray for me and I will Pray for you. Share your Love and you hopes with the people around you but most importantly, ask others to do the same with you.
Love Everyone and Be Blessed,
Lilac
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Own your Actions and Choices
Hi everyone! Welcome to the True-Love Blog once again. I am happy that I am back writing in this Blog and on this topic of Love. It seems like we forget about Love until it burns us or lets us down in some way and then we find ourselves pondering the age-old question: "What is Love?" The truth is, LOVE actually isn't what let us down at all. Nor was it another person who let us down. We let ourselves down. Anything that happens to us exteriorly speaking, is actually happening to us on the THOUGHT or Mental level. It is fueled by what is happening to us on the emotional level. Then it manifests as situations in the physical world...things like lack, accidents, health problems and more. Some of my readers will believe this and some will not but assuming you are still reading I will continue. Love is not the emotional state or the condition of being so much as love is a LAW in the Universe and our Creator (The Light), exists within the Law of Love. There is no imperfection in this LOVE. Love just is. We experience the depth of what this great thing called Love really is when we have happy shared moments of joy and pleasure and ecstasy and fun. Unfortunately, human beings easily associate the LOVE with the PERSON who is sharing it. Love is either IN us or Lacking in us. Love is either a shared experience or is lacking. When there is an absence of the presence of Love in any person's behavior or choices, that person and all those connected with them and their choices, suffers. This is why we are commanded by great men and women from the past to LOVE EVERYBODY. Love your neighbor as yourself. How hard do people find that? It is damn near impossible to do it perfectly. So let's explore ways to improve on being Lovers, Loving People and Love-Manifestors.
Most people know and believe and accept the idea of paying it forward, right? We give freely...an act of kindness...to random strangers or people in need that we know. We strive to fill and meet the needs of people in our inner circles. We accept and love people where they are at. Most of us probably try to live this way but how many of you agree it is not so easy to do??? I believe there needs to be more community effort at Assisting people to continue acting in LOVE toward their fellow man and their friends and their families. It starts with one small act of kindness and then it grows and the circle widens. One of the best ways to start making this a "Way of Life" for yourself is to choose a Cause to start supporting or giving to. Give of yourself regularly. Give time and money. The more you give away to the needs of others, the greater the reward will return to you with feeling the presence of real Love.
I found myself thinking the other night about sickness...like long-term illnesses such as Cancer that is resistant to treatment. I thought about how many people (children too) who live with cancer (and balding and treatments) and all their time and resources are absorbed in the battle to rid their body of this poison. Then I widened my gaze to see their friends, family and supporters. There is no such thing as "normal life experiences" for these people. Everyday is like living a completely different kind of life then the majority of people around them. Some people get to go about their daily lives self-absorbed over their daily schedules and their little struggles. These people (I am among this group, by the way), feel loneliness and a lack of connection to the Light over and over during the course of their lives. But those dealing with the heavy burdens of something like what I described above, for them, NOTHING except beating the illness, really matters. They have this nearly singular focus. If they want to really heal and survive, they must fight and those who love them must do so also. They sacrifice, they pray, they listen to advice, they make decisions, they boldly follow-through. They HAVE TO DO IT. It is "Failure is not an option". In a way, I envy them.
Without having to go through such an ordeal, such as a life-altering illness or other life-altering condition, we CAN replicate the experience in order to connect with the Light of the Creator and the GREAT power of LOVE. We do this by living a life that is Full of LOVE. This means we dedicate each thing we do, think and feel...or say...to being TRUE, compassionate, open, real and honest. This also means that we allow our loved ones to really influence us toward being better. Expecting things is a slippery slope. Having expectations that other people, places, jobs, conditions, relationships or gifts, will bring us fullfillment or happiness, joy or Love...is false. It doesn't work that way. We do the right things and live the Right Way...and we are then living in the Light and living in Love. A very cool person I know, my coworker Kevin, taught me this: LOVE IS A VERB. It is not complacent. It takes action to produce Love, maintain Love, Share Love and also to cause it to grow and also to draw it to us. Life is very brief for each of us. We waste much of it waiting for others to cause happiness for us. I am guilty of this. I am struggling with this. I am too often in the depths of despair wishing to be saved emotionally, while the whole time I have the full ability to bring about the Love and Happiness I desire with no external help at all.
Furthering our practice in connecting to Love and the Light of our Creator and the Soul of what it means to be a Human Being, comes in Restriction. Restriction is the idea that although many things are available to us to attain, use or express...we are choosy and particular about which ones we allow in. Let me say this another way. We CAN have whatever it is we desire, but we should be CAREFUL what we choose because there are consequesnces to everything. This is a LAW of the universe, like Gravity is a Universal Law. If we think we can defy the law of gravity, we work against the law and we can get injured or die. So in the same way, if we ignore the fact that the Universal Laws are there and in effect because the Creator made them, we are still affected by them. We must learn to work WITH those energies and not AGAINST them. In a recent Lecture I was listening to by Michael Moskowitz, I was reminded that the power of the forces of chaos that exist around us, are STRONG. We cannot expect to go "toe to toe" with this chaos and be able to defend what is good. We must learn how to use the power of Love, Restriction, Faith and Deliberate Action to CREATE the life we want and need for ourselves and others.
If you are serious about making these changes in your life, I understand and support you. I endorse many great programs that exist to help you on your journey. Me and my boyfriend are believers in Kabbalah and that background of faith gives us the tools we need to work with the situations we face. Some people prefer Christian Tools, and others may like to learn from a more "Student-Teacher" learning environment. I have friends who recommend Landmark Forums. I found this link with a simple Google Search if that helps:
http://www.landmarkeducation.com/
I recommend if anyone is interested in forming a basis of knowledge in Kabbalah, that they learn from the people at the International Kabbalah Center using the following website link:
http://www.ukabbalah.com/home
Thanks for reading today. I hope you found it enriching. I am continuing to ask for people to inbox me with any advice or stories about LOVE and MARRIAGE. I would love some 1-3 paragraph detailed essays about what works and doesn't work. I plan to publish a book on this topic one day so any and all ideas are appreciated and will be documented properly. My email address is:
angelmarievangyzen@live.com
LOVE everybody and Be Blessed,
AngelMarie (Lilac)
Most people know and believe and accept the idea of paying it forward, right? We give freely...an act of kindness...to random strangers or people in need that we know. We strive to fill and meet the needs of people in our inner circles. We accept and love people where they are at. Most of us probably try to live this way but how many of you agree it is not so easy to do??? I believe there needs to be more community effort at Assisting people to continue acting in LOVE toward their fellow man and their friends and their families. It starts with one small act of kindness and then it grows and the circle widens. One of the best ways to start making this a "Way of Life" for yourself is to choose a Cause to start supporting or giving to. Give of yourself regularly. Give time and money. The more you give away to the needs of others, the greater the reward will return to you with feeling the presence of real Love.
I found myself thinking the other night about sickness...like long-term illnesses such as Cancer that is resistant to treatment. I thought about how many people (children too) who live with cancer (and balding and treatments) and all their time and resources are absorbed in the battle to rid their body of this poison. Then I widened my gaze to see their friends, family and supporters. There is no such thing as "normal life experiences" for these people. Everyday is like living a completely different kind of life then the majority of people around them. Some people get to go about their daily lives self-absorbed over their daily schedules and their little struggles. These people (I am among this group, by the way), feel loneliness and a lack of connection to the Light over and over during the course of their lives. But those dealing with the heavy burdens of something like what I described above, for them, NOTHING except beating the illness, really matters. They have this nearly singular focus. If they want to really heal and survive, they must fight and those who love them must do so also. They sacrifice, they pray, they listen to advice, they make decisions, they boldly follow-through. They HAVE TO DO IT. It is "Failure is not an option". In a way, I envy them.
Without having to go through such an ordeal, such as a life-altering illness or other life-altering condition, we CAN replicate the experience in order to connect with the Light of the Creator and the GREAT power of LOVE. We do this by living a life that is Full of LOVE. This means we dedicate each thing we do, think and feel...or say...to being TRUE, compassionate, open, real and honest. This also means that we allow our loved ones to really influence us toward being better. Expecting things is a slippery slope. Having expectations that other people, places, jobs, conditions, relationships or gifts, will bring us fullfillment or happiness, joy or Love...is false. It doesn't work that way. We do the right things and live the Right Way...and we are then living in the Light and living in Love. A very cool person I know, my coworker Kevin, taught me this: LOVE IS A VERB. It is not complacent. It takes action to produce Love, maintain Love, Share Love and also to cause it to grow and also to draw it to us. Life is very brief for each of us. We waste much of it waiting for others to cause happiness for us. I am guilty of this. I am struggling with this. I am too often in the depths of despair wishing to be saved emotionally, while the whole time I have the full ability to bring about the Love and Happiness I desire with no external help at all.
Furthering our practice in connecting to Love and the Light of our Creator and the Soul of what it means to be a Human Being, comes in Restriction. Restriction is the idea that although many things are available to us to attain, use or express...we are choosy and particular about which ones we allow in. Let me say this another way. We CAN have whatever it is we desire, but we should be CAREFUL what we choose because there are consequesnces to everything. This is a LAW of the universe, like Gravity is a Universal Law. If we think we can defy the law of gravity, we work against the law and we can get injured or die. So in the same way, if we ignore the fact that the Universal Laws are there and in effect because the Creator made them, we are still affected by them. We must learn to work WITH those energies and not AGAINST them. In a recent Lecture I was listening to by Michael Moskowitz, I was reminded that the power of the forces of chaos that exist around us, are STRONG. We cannot expect to go "toe to toe" with this chaos and be able to defend what is good. We must learn how to use the power of Love, Restriction, Faith and Deliberate Action to CREATE the life we want and need for ourselves and others.
If you are serious about making these changes in your life, I understand and support you. I endorse many great programs that exist to help you on your journey. Me and my boyfriend are believers in Kabbalah and that background of faith gives us the tools we need to work with the situations we face. Some people prefer Christian Tools, and others may like to learn from a more "Student-Teacher" learning environment. I have friends who recommend Landmark Forums. I found this link with a simple Google Search if that helps:
http://www.landmarkeducation.com/
I recommend if anyone is interested in forming a basis of knowledge in Kabbalah, that they learn from the people at the International Kabbalah Center using the following website link:
http://www.ukabbalah.com/home
Thanks for reading today. I hope you found it enriching. I am continuing to ask for people to inbox me with any advice or stories about LOVE and MARRIAGE. I would love some 1-3 paragraph detailed essays about what works and doesn't work. I plan to publish a book on this topic one day so any and all ideas are appreciated and will be documented properly. My email address is:
angelmarievangyzen@live.com
LOVE everybody and Be Blessed,
AngelMarie (Lilac)
Friday, March 8, 2013
Loneliness and Love
I thought I was ready to put this blog to rest and begin my journaling on other topics and other specialties. But I feel I am still at the same place with the same questions I had a year ago. So since I am clearly not finished yet, I forgive myself. I will forgive myself for being slow to learn and grow. I will also acknowledge that I am working hard to learn and grow. I will offer myself some praise and encouragement in times when I need it. I know that Real Love is simply Love. Love is not an emotion and when we feel our emotions are low or drained that is not failure at Love it is a Lack of Love. Lacking Love comes from inside of us and it is US not showing love to our fellow man. There are many people and children and groups and associations that need Love and Support. In fact, there is no possible way for any person to have "done enough" in any day.
I am struggling because I want Love but I want a kind of Love that I believed was real that probably isn't real. Sometimes I am trying to show affection or give affection and I feel rejected and that rejection hurts so much I want to close the door and go away forever. And so I feel Lonely, not in an emotionally needy way but just in a longing to be loved how I have always hoped to be loved sort of way. I bet many people reading this know how that feels. I can remember being a fairly young person (maybe 11 or 12 years old) and going to the library to read books about Love and what Love really was and whether or not there were special kinds of Love connections. The subject fascinates me and inspires me. Since I am still trying to get to the bottom of it all, I think I will embark on a project I was considering a while back. I want to interview people who are happily married and see what they have really been through in their marriages. I would like to see and hear the real scoop. I want to know if it's ok for your partner to experience long periods of not wanting to be around you or sleeping on the couch or just not seeing your point of view or understanding it at all. Can couples really survive that? Or are the happy ones able to avoid pitfalls like this? If so, how? How do successful couples really communicate? Is there yelling? Do you agree more often then you disagree? What external factors can turn your otherwise smooth relationship into a boiling pot? I really do want to know and understand.
If you would like your relationship to be a part of my study, please Inbox me at angelmarievangyzen@live.com
I am open to any and all input. In fact, If you would like to make a submission that I can publish either anonymously or with your name, Please enclose a 1 to 3 paragraph excerpt about what you think makes for a Healthy Partnership or Marriage. Be as specific and personal as you feel comfortable to be because speaking about these issues in general terms does not help us see what happens with real people. The real people are you and me and our real life situations and relationships. I hope you will help me learn and we can all learn together.
Sending you all Love and Blessings from my Heart,
AngelMarie
(Lilac Avonlea)
I am struggling because I want Love but I want a kind of Love that I believed was real that probably isn't real. Sometimes I am trying to show affection or give affection and I feel rejected and that rejection hurts so much I want to close the door and go away forever. And so I feel Lonely, not in an emotionally needy way but just in a longing to be loved how I have always hoped to be loved sort of way. I bet many people reading this know how that feels. I can remember being a fairly young person (maybe 11 or 12 years old) and going to the library to read books about Love and what Love really was and whether or not there were special kinds of Love connections. The subject fascinates me and inspires me. Since I am still trying to get to the bottom of it all, I think I will embark on a project I was considering a while back. I want to interview people who are happily married and see what they have really been through in their marriages. I would like to see and hear the real scoop. I want to know if it's ok for your partner to experience long periods of not wanting to be around you or sleeping on the couch or just not seeing your point of view or understanding it at all. Can couples really survive that? Or are the happy ones able to avoid pitfalls like this? If so, how? How do successful couples really communicate? Is there yelling? Do you agree more often then you disagree? What external factors can turn your otherwise smooth relationship into a boiling pot? I really do want to know and understand.
If you would like your relationship to be a part of my study, please Inbox me at angelmarievangyzen@live.com
I am open to any and all input. In fact, If you would like to make a submission that I can publish either anonymously or with your name, Please enclose a 1 to 3 paragraph excerpt about what you think makes for a Healthy Partnership or Marriage. Be as specific and personal as you feel comfortable to be because speaking about these issues in general terms does not help us see what happens with real people. The real people are you and me and our real life situations and relationships. I hope you will help me learn and we can all learn together.
Sending you all Love and Blessings from my Heart,
AngelMarie
(Lilac Avonlea)
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