HOME

Hi everyone!  My life has changed so much.  I am accustomed to writing in my blog on a daily basis.  These last 8 to 10 months I have been able to only write about 10 blog entries altogether.  Ok, ok...perhaps it was 20, but you get my point.  I love to write and the ideas are always rattling about in this old brain.  Today I literally HAD to stop washing my dishes at 10:30 at night (ugh!) because the idea of "home" kept nagging at my thoughts and I felt I should come write about it.  I kept thinking about the old adage of
"home is where the heart is". 

 I thought about this and I came to the conclusion that this expression has been a little overlooked.  I looked closer.  I thought more about it and discovered that what resonated for me was more along the lines of, "home IS the heart".  I think what we hold dear to us (in our heart), becomes the comfort we rely upon.  That comfort...quite simply...we can translate that into HOME.

These Hydrangeas are from my old house.  I had to leave them behind when I moved.  It's not normal to uproot a plant when you leave your residence.  It's not healthy.  If I really wanted to do it, it could be done.  But in the process, some of the root and some of the blossoms would have been affected.  In time, the root's injuries would heal...and new blossoms would return.  So it COULD be done.  I always loved this hydrangea.  I bought her as a single small blossom at Walmart one day.  She was pink then.  I planted her and for a few years I saw no growth, no real maturity.  One summer she just simply began to blossom and then every summer after...more and more flowers!  She is now about 5 years old.  when I came to live at my new home, I felt sad about leaving behind the Lilacs and the Hydrangea and a few other favorite plants and flowers that I had been caring for a very long time.  They were like my children!  I nurtured them and spent time with them.  I genuinely enjoyed them and I still miss them.  I know that starting new can be a myriad of things.  It can be scary...pleasurable...difficult...makes you insecure....the next place you go to is not always a complete step up into something better.  Sometimes there is a transition period with many difficult things that must be managed before life gets better.  How I handled this, was I planted a new hydrangea.  It was one of the first things I did when spring came.

Acceptance of ourselves can go a long way in being satisfied with our HOME (or our heart).  It is important to show compassion to ourselves ( and our hearts and homes).  For example, when I look at this picture of my children's bicycles parked on the lawn near Jamie's motorcycle, I feel happy.  It makes me happy because I realize I have a family...a big, messy, hectic, untidy family.  They happen to love me and need me.  When I see their things...ok, not every single time...but SOMETIMES...when I see their personal belongings on the lawn or somewhere...I smile because I know I am surrounded by love.  Now, honestly there have been times (and I am NOT exaggerating here)...when I have literally stopped and cried when I see the messes and the disorder I live in.  Life can be a challenge.

My friend Zinny recently said (on her facebook page Zin-Zen):

If something is uncomfortable in your life change it .. It's a choice
Don't allow your ego to hurt the people who care for you. Sit silently before you speak your next sentence. Don't let others destroy your inner peace. Hate/anger and jealousy .. Release it and see your life change. Let go your the past and it will let go of you...
Start living... In peace...
 ... happiness will bring abundance into your life.. Surround every situation with peace.. You can't control others.. Control yourself. Be who you are and know why you are here. Today I release what I can not control. I am love and I make the choice to have only love and peace in my life..

I came online to write about this subject and I saw her posting just before and thought how it really expresses my thoughts on this subject so well.  I CANNOT control my home environment (my physical home...the house where I live).  The reason I cannot control my home environment is mostly owing to the fact that it is actually not my house to control or to modify or to adjust.  Now my Home (my heart)...that one I can control.  I can adjust her and tweak her and correct her.  In fact...where I live and the condition of my house and family, are interconnected and affect each other.  But let's think about why and how they affect each other.  The laws of the Universe suggest that we surround ourselves with what we attract!  We are magnetic!

Our hearts are the magnet and what we think and feel creates the magnet's energy.  Our thoughts and feelings are SO POWERFUL, that we literally magnetize to us the very things we want and need and think about.  Somehow I wanted and needed something here in my current situation.  If I want to see something different from what I am living in, I must change!  I can change if I believe I can change and then all things around me will be affected.  When I changed homes, I ended up in a different house...but I really loved flowers.  I longed for them and I missed the ones I had been taking care of.  I admired flowers, shopped for flowers, talked about flowers, photographed flowers.

And then one warm night...under a dusky sky, somewhere in Warwick...my children and I dug a hole and planted a single blue hydrangea.  **Sigh**  Feels like home.

Namaste~